Zurich's Hidden Horrors

You may have noticed young urchins, banging on your door and demanding treats in return for not egging your house/car or leaving flaming bags of dog doo on your door step. Ain’t halloween grand? I tried answering the door to these children in the nude but attracted quite a few «trick or treaters,» in police uniforms. But seriously, what is the solution to all these Halloween disturbances? Go out and take a Halloween tour of some of the scary statues of the city…

What’s that rustling sound? Oh, it’s okay, just a tall, naked man coming out of the bushes at Sonnenberg. Maybe someone can tell me what this represents? The patron saint of nudists? My first thought: What the hell? My second: Leave me alone, please!

Bern has the famous «Kindlifresserbrunnen» which literally means the child eating fountain. Zurich has the not so famous Klausbrunnen at the corner of Neustadtgasse-Frankengasse....what is that sculpture doing with that child?

We’ve all had one too many and woken up in a strange place. Rumour has it that the architect had one schnapps too many, fell over near Bahnhof Wollishofen, couldn’t be woken up and the builders poured the concrete over him. Thisty? Enjoy a refreshing drink of his saliva…

Part man, part…well, who knows what? One thing I do know, that smile gives me the creeps. Don’t take your eyes off this evil fella, situated at the Heilig Kreuz Kirche. While you take a drink from the fountain, he’ll drink your soul.

The twins from Stanley Kubrick’s «The Shining,» are still a regular feature in my nightmares which is why I avoid this sculpture at Sihlporte like the plague.

Pole vault is a difficult sport and when it goes wrong, it goes badly wrong. This fella in the Sihlpark wants revenge for his pain and anguish. You're in his sights and you don't want to know where he's going to shove that stick...

If you are terrified by things that go bump in the night then maybe a graveyard is not the place to hang out. It’s made doubly horrendous by this sculpture at the Friedhof Sihlfeld.

I don’t know what is more scary. The strange face, the skinny, unworldly limbs…or the fact that this character at Hardau is playing an accordion. 

Hans-Georg Nägeli was an important music educationist, publisher and composer. So why does his bust at Hohe Promenade make him look like Chucky from Child’s Play’s dad?

If you have seen Terminator II you will be familiar with the T-1000 android and his fluid metal shape. Well, meet his wife. After a hard days massacring people in the past he comes back to his loving wife, who has been waiting patiently for him outside the 25hour Hotel at Zurich West. 

All images and more from maps.stadt-zuerich.ch